Feeling like you have lost your purpose or yourself can feel like a very lonesome, cruel feeling. But, it doesn't have to feel that way...
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Feeling as though you have lost yourself or your purpose in life is seriously a harsh season of life. This is a feeling of complete discouragement.
Trust me, I know all too well how this feels! Unfortunately, I have felt like this on more than one occasion in my life. But, I can assure you, you always come out on top, in the end.
I am pretty sure that most people have felt this way, once or twice in their life; and if they have not, well they are pretty blessed.
You may come to learn, that most people feel this way. Even if they seem to look and act like they have everything in their life together, something in their life is not perfect. And, the great thing is, that is perfectly okay!
Let's just be real, it is just not possible to have everything together 150% of the time. Especially, if you are a mom, or a wife, or a manager of some sort!
As a mom and wife, I feel like it is so, so easy for women in those roles to loose themselves. Let's think about it, you are giving so much into these family members, you are pouring yourself into them, your homes, you businesses or work life. This takes a ton out of you! This alone is exhausting, but we know, that it is very much so rewarding! I could honestly go so deep into the motherhood/wife side of this, because that is where I lost myself.
With all of this being said, so many of us (men and women, a like) really do not know how to deal with these feelings that our life has no purpose, or that we just don't even know who this person were looking at in the mirror is, anymore. I feel like I can say that, because like I stated above, I know exactly how this all feels, because I have been there. (Also, you need to know, that your job and purpose as a wife and mom, is so, so, so important!)
So, in this post, I want to share some things that can help you.
what you need to know first
Before I share the ways that you can feel better about these feelings and begin to move forward, I need you to know a few things, first!
tips to help you during this season:
1. Enjoy the simple things
Slow down, take the time to soak up and enjoy the moments you are in. Stop stressing over ever single aspect of your life, you cannot control every little thing. Stop looking for answers and solutions to this feeling of "what am I doing with my life?"
Ever feel like you are pulling at strings and not getting the answers or results you need or are looking for? Yep, me too. Unfortunately, the more you look for answers outside of yourself and honestly, God, the more lost we are going to be, the more confused we become, and you'll also be less productive, too.
What does simplicity mean for you?
For me it means less time on my phone trying to look for the answers on how to improve certain situations in life. (I still scroll, just nowhere near as much!) For me, it is less going and doing, allowing me to be home more, working, cleaning up my house and spending one on one time with my girls. For me, it has meant that I do not need to plan every single meal and count every single macro in those meals, sometimes a nice salad for dinner instead of a six course meal is what I need, mentally and nourishment wise!
2. Discuss your struggles
This is a hard one. It is hard to admit that you are struggling with anything, especially the fact that you do not know your purpose in life, or you have forgotten who you are.
It really is okay to admit this, it is okay to confide in someone. If you can admit these feelings, that tells me you have taken the time to discover why you are feeling so discouraged or as though something is missing in your life. Admitting this tells me that you are trying, that you are willing to work on this!
Open up to a friend, a trusted friend, your spouse, your mom, even a therapist!
Journal it out! Find a pretty journal, or a journal that inspires you to write (yes, journals can do that!) and let it out. Sometimes writing our thoughts, fears and struggles out in a journal before confiding in a loved one or therapist, can really help you in getting your thoughts on track so you can get your point across. You can also understand where you are coming from yourself!
Did you know that humans actually crave human interaction? Yes, even the most introverted person craves SOME human interaction.
Confiding in someone, even journaling, can really take this weight off of your shoulders, heart and mind!
Also, admitting your feelings, can allow you to be more relatable. Maybe the friend you are confiding in feels the same way you do and needs that connection, too.
BONUS: In that journal that gives you life, begin to write down some goals you have for yourself. Can't think of any? Start by writing down things that interest you, and make a point to try one of those things in the next few weeks, and then do another!
3. Look INside
You may feel lost because you are looking for answers outside of yourself, you are putting your happiness on others (like you your source of happiness comes from them and them only), or you are not living an authentic life.
An "authentic life"? What does that mean?
This means you are living life in a way that is not how you want. You may have too many people telling you how you should be living. And you want to take their "advice" or you don't want to think less of you, or you want to "do right", so you live life in a way to make others happy, or you live on eggshells (so to speak) because you feel that your efforts are not enough.
This is causing you to loose yourself.
Listen to your needs, your wants; figure out what works for you, your family, your house.
Start, today and start small. Take one thing in your life, and do it for you. You want to become healthier, take twenty minutes and work out today, for you! Love to read, read ten pages of a personal development book or your favorite genre! Want to get back into God's word, wake up a little bit earlier and dive into a devotional and write in a prayer journal!
4. Be real
Stop comparing yourself to others, especially people on the internet!
For the love of God, I need you to know how toxic social media can be to our minds and hearts, when they are hurting and looking for answers! I know this first hand!
I would like to say 80% of the way people live on Social Media is not real, or they are in debt up to their ears. Okay, so I totally just pulled that percentage out of thin air, but it sounded good, right!?
These people that we often find ourselves comparing our lives, children, homes and accomplishments to, are far from perfect. Not to mention, they are not you!
Choose what you believe, who you follow, and what you get from their posts. Set boundaries on this type of stuff, your heart needs you to!
Please, please. Do not allow the seemingly perfect lives on social media to rule your happiness, or make you feel less of yourself, or to determine your success.
Remember, if people have to go on social media to tell you how amazing their life is, how amazing their friends are, how much they are in love with this most amazing, faithful man on earth... their life may be far from it; they themselves may be hurting in similar ways.
Hey Ya'll! My name is Amy, I am a girl mom (times two), married to one of my favorite guys, a daughter, a Jesus follower and so much more. I love preworkout and a great sweat, I collect books like trophies, I love to cook but hate a dirty kitchen. I love grungy country music, bell bottom pants, turquoise (the mineral) and converses. Our house is full of love and laughter as we navigate this busy life together, focusing on keeping the important parts of life the biggest parts, and building a healthy and safe place in our family of four!