I don't plan on getting married again, any time soon, at least. But, I can easily see things I wish I had done differently, or would have thought about, almost ten years ago! (Wow!)
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I really am not sure what got me thinking about this topic, other than we are coming up on ten years of marriage next year, and I would like to do something special for it. Ten years is a lot now days!
Almost eleven years ago, I began dating a man who I never planned on dating, but I had prayed for him long before I ever met him. To be honest, when I met J, he gave the impression of a man married with like three daughters. He just gave off responsible, husband vibes; and I guess he was always bound to be a girl dad, but God willing were done with two girls!
When we did begin dating, I knew he was the last man I would date, no matter how long it took us to get married, he was it. Still is (wink, wink)!
Our wedding was planned in a matter of two months. Yep, TWO, MONTHS. Easy Peasy.
At that time, with what was popular on Pinterest and Etsy at the time, I had planned everything I wanted and wanted to spend money on! I made my own guestbook, my flowers were planned, dress picked, wedding boots picked, and most of my table centerpieces were items I would turn around and use to decorate my house. Some of those key items I still use, or have repurposed (this was my mom's idea!).
With all that being said, if I was getting married now, at this stage of life, with my current taste and relationship, lessons learned and with new trends, I would definitely do things differently.
I share all of this because there may or may not be lessons in some of these changes. And also, I think they are really neat and you or someone else you know might like them, too!
I got married in my great-grandmother Margaret's home church. She had been a member of this church for majority of her life here in Georgia. It is a beautiful church with tons of natural light, a photographer's dream. I need to mention that since she had been basically life long member, and passed the June before we engaged/married, it proved very sentimental for my grandfather, who cried the entire ceremony (I like to think that was because I am his fave grandkid, but really, he loves us all, and is super proud of each of us!)!
I don't regret our venue. Of course, there was no alcohol, no dancing, no lyrics during the ceremony, but all of that was fine with me.
If I could do it over again, though....
I would choose a primitive location I found a few years ago. It's about an hour from our current home, and it is literally a mostly abandoned church. With yummy texture on the walls from the paint leisurely peeling off. Original church pews, and a simple piano left behind. When I tell you, I want to renew my wedding vows here, (just me, J, the kids and our parents), I DO! No pun intended! Mind you, J is not up for that, so I will settle for family pictures here, one day!
But, this smaller, more simpler venue would have been so much better for us for a couple of reasons. Though we are both extra and loud and blunt, we appreciate the simple things; especially as we have gotten older, and grown more together.
This smaller, more simple venue would have cut our guest list down drastically. At the time, we wanted to please everyone, we have a large family friend group, and J has a very large immediate family- I mean, he has thirteen aunts and uncles, just from his mom's siblings!! I would have cut the list back, and today, I wouldn't mind it one bit.
There's something about smaller venues and ceremonies, they are more romantic, more intimate. J and I had the sweetest vows, and he refuses to admit it now, but he fought tears through them, and I just feel like he would have had more of chance to feel more relaxed in a smaller venue, smaller guest list. Not to mention, hello, savings.
I still, till this day, even though I wish we have had a much smaller guest list, do not regret it, everyone who was supposed to be there, was.
Flowers & Colors
I loved my flowers. My florist did an amazing job, he always has (old family friend!)!
I had daisies, roses, and some greenery. I had pinks, I had whites.
What I would do now, in that small venue, and even without that small venue, would be totally different. TOTALLY!
And honestly, flowers were something that were just not as important as they are made out to be. I didn't do anything to preserve them. They died a sad, cold life in my mom and dad's garage fridge, next to an unrecognizable pot roast (sorry, mom!) and some a small stash of "pool beer".
Today, I would plan my colors once again, super simple. I mean super.
My couple of bridesmaids would wear different shades of taupe or cream. Our flowers would be greenery, only. Like eucalyptus galore!
There would be no changing my mind (mom, I am talking to you *insert winky kiss emoji*)
J calls me boring. My mom and my florist/wedding planner would tell me, you need a pop of color!!! The ONLY pop of color I would be having is the large amounts of tasteful turquoise jewelry I would be dripping in. If you know me (and J), I love turquoise jewelry, and he has always enabled my issues, especially when he traveled in Texas, I got Montana Smith jewelry or turquoise sets, all the time.
But, this simplicity makes my anxious, OCD heart so happy.
Like I stated above, I made my guestbook. I still have it in safe keeping. I spent many hours at my momma's kitchen table, working away on this thing, with my protective yorkie asleep on her blankie, in the chair next to me. (I told you I was extra!)
I have always been sentimental, but what how I want it, is a little different.
I would totally have a wedding Bible. A what? What is that?
A WEDDING BIBLE!
OMG, they are all the things.
I would have a painted wedding BIble, customized to the colors and florals of our wedding- remember, those creams and greenery! YESSSSS!
J and I would have had to chose a verse to put on the front. It would have been the verse in Ecclesiastes, about three cords together is stronger than one, as we did the knot tie in the ceremony, symbolizing J, me and God, and how the three of us together are strong, and when pulled on, we only get stronger. (Sidenote- I literally got chills typing that out, and fought a tear or two. Anytime we have been pulled on- individually or as a team, we only get stronger!)
Maybe these Bibles were a thing back then, but, none the less, they are now, and if you are sleeping on them, you're missing out.
I would definitely use it as our guest book, with complimentary highlighters and nice pens to allow guests to highlight their favorite verse, a verse God laid on their heart to share or their own marriage verse, to document their attendance.
They make wonderful gifts, too!
Bridal Party Gifts
I will be the first person to tell you, I failed at these.
I also do not see the hype in the extravagant ones, but I see the point in once again, SIMPLE gifts.
Things like journals, books, meaningful jewelry!
I also wish J and I would have swapped wedding gifts. He has always spoiled me so well, but man is he super difficult to shop for. Even now, the only things he vocalized that he wants are super expensive toys, jeeps, boats, and other manly things (be a man and rub some dirt in it; que the tool man grunts. If you catch these references, please for the love of all things comment and tell me!)!!
What would you plan differently about your wedding?
At the end of the day, my wedding was great, and really all that mattered is I left at the end of the day with my husband and our life ahead of us, and willingness to always make this marriage work, no matter what; because, we love each other, and I wouldn't want to this without him!
Hey Ya'll! My name is Amy, I am a girl mom (times two), married to one of my favorite guys, a daughter, a Jesus follower and so much more. I love preworkout and a great sweat, I collect books like trophies, I love to cook but hate a dirty kitchen. I love grungy country music, bell bottom pants, turquoise (the mineral) and converses. Our house is full of love and laughter as we navigate this busy life together, focusing on keeping the important parts of life the biggest parts, and building a healthy and safe place in our family of four!