Learning to be Okay With Lack of Control

*Disclaimer: This post may contain affiliate links. Affiliate links allow me to share items with you and provide the blog some compensation if a sale is made through our link, at no extra cost to you the consumer. All opinions are of my own!

Talk about a difficult lesson to learn. 

Especially as a woman, wife, momma and/or leader. It is in our nature to feel as though we have to have control all the time. 

In some social circles and families it is common that other people might make you feel as though you are failing, or not qualified if you do not have control all the time. Maybe, you have come to that conclusion on your own; I did. I had it in my head that if I didn't have control over every single thing I could, that I would look like a bad wife, a horrible mom, and unqualified business owner and employee. 

I truly believe that I worked myself into that mindset through fear of failure and the fear of making a mistake, and honestly, I had every right to have worked myself up. I am far from perfect, and have made some tortious mistakes. These same mistakes could have easily turned my loved ones away from me, broken my marriage, and so on. (Vulnerable moment, here!)
​

Let Go Of Control

I need to preface this by saying, some control is okay. I am really speaking to the person who allows the needing to have control, and the lack of control work them up until their anxiety is ruling their life. 

You know those memories that pop up on your Facebook profile? This message had already been placed on my heart, and a post from two years ago popped up in my "memories". And the message in that post was very similar to what I am sharing here, "I am reminded that our minds cause anxiety and worry, and that we should just lean on Him, because in the end- He is in control of everything."

Like I mentioned before, learning to be okay with not having control is a difficult lesson to learn, but... I can't even begin to explain how much peace letting it go, can bring to your mind, your heart and your spirit. It is truly the most unexplainable feeling. 

It is truly soothing to know that God is in control, to know that I am giving Him control over every detail of my life. 

Let's face it, even if I had complete control over every aspect of my life, my children's life... it doesn't compare to His control, His plan for us. Honestly, there is truly very little things that we can control anyways. Things like how I perform in my jobs (professional, business, being a mom, wife, etc.), making ends meet, making memories with my babies, teaching them right from wrong and teaching them how to be good people, and so on. 

What is meant to be, will find it's way, and when it is a God thing, it's meant to be and there is nothing you can do to change or stop that!

It's cliché, I know; but, it truly is the truth. 

It's a rewarding truth, too!
​

HOW Can I learn to be okay

A couple of years ago, I was in the roughest patch of life I have encountered thus far. My youngest child had almost died only a couple of days after she was born, our NICU experience was  constant roller coaster of emotions, and that continued for the following 6 months of her life. I suffered miserably from undiagnosed postpartum depression and anxiety. (My at the time doctor's solutions were to change birth controls around, and brush it under the rug.)

So, how did I wiggle myself out of that? Well, I don't think this is something that goes a way completely, this is mental health, it is something you have to work at constantly. 

• I began journaling. I started finding cute journals, and when I couldn't find cute ones anymore, I made my own! (Shop them here!) I began to write prayers down, write gratitude down, I vented. Basically, whatever that journal needed to be that day, is what it was. I poured my heart out. That allowed me a place to get things off my mind, heart and let go of things I couldn't control. I even began to write my story, my babies' story, and my marriage's story. 
• I dedicated thirty minutes a day on me. Whether it was solely writing in that journal, or I was able to squeeze in some reading time with whatever book I was reading out of at the time, listened to a podcast, or got a solid workout in to relieve some stress. A lot of times I made these thirty minutes happen with two babies in my lap, but that time was about me, whether they realized it or not. PS- giving yourself some 'you' time, is totally not selfish! 
• I focused on things I knew I felt confident in. I knew I could cook a good meal for my husband and babies; I worked hard to let go of any limiting beliefs I had of myself, including things I thought I was fearful of (writing messages like this, putting myself out there, etc.)
• I made lists. I made lists of things I needed to do, work on, etc. Having these lists visibly where I could check them off, made me feel as though I was being productive, giving my life some control, so to speak. I made lists in my planner, like this one. 

​

Some verses to reference

Ecclesiastes 1:15 | Hebrews 10:23 | Philippians 3:13-14
Romans 6:13 | Psalm 61:2
​

FAves/Suggested

Shop My Journals

My FAVE Devotions