I Learned to Say NO...

... and you should too!!

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What is the biggest lesson you learned in 2021?

One big thing I learned in 2021 was how to say NO!

And it turned out to be a huge blessing in my business, my family and my personal life.

Let's talk this over

I stopped saying yes to everything. I stopped feeling guilty for saying NO; it’s not always easy, though!

I was being asked to pick up extra hours in my healthcare worker role, that I knew I couldn't commit to. I had fulfilled my hours of obligation, I had given my all during those hours. My mental health was exhausted, my physical health was too, I just didn't realize it. I also, had a hard time doing any more extra because I had two children (young) that needed momma, and not enough hands helping get them from school and to watch them while I worked thirteen + hour shifts. 

I was also longing to start a new business, for me and my family. I knew God was pulling me for more, but I was trying to do it all. Trying to please everyone. 

Around early spring I started to feel very burnt out in my role in health care (what health care worker hasn't felt this way, here lately?).

It was starting to make me feel depressed, defeated. If you knew me, truly knew me from four- six years ago, you could imagine the fear I was feeling, just from the slightest amount of depression or sadness creeping back in. 

I woke up one day, and said that's it. I can't do it all anymore. As much as I love the hospital setting, my amazing, brave coworkers, I had to give in some. I needed a break, I needed less. 

i said "no"

I started by saying "no" to picking up even more weekends than I was already picking up. My husband needed me with his side business, my business needed me, my kids needed me. I felt like I was doing the best thing for those things listed above, but also for myself. I needed space from that environment.

I said no, and unfortunately, I upset a lot of people. I am sure they considered me selfish; thought I wasn't a team player, thought I just didn't want to work weekends; reality is, I honestly haven't had a full weekend off in years, especially the past year. 

It was difficult for me to say no. Especially, to a manager who I considered a friend. 

I felt as though I had let her down. I felt as though they hated me.

But, after a couple of days, I was able to let that go. I let go of the feeling that my coworkers hated me, as they quickly learned why I said no. And if they didn't understand then, they do, now, even though they may never admit that to me. 

"no" got easier

And just like that.... the word NO became so much easier.

I started saying NO to things that no longer brought me joy (like that Marie lady on Netflix, ya know!?), that took me away from the important memories with my babies. I said no to things that brought super unnecessary stress, toxicity and drama into my life. I started saying no when my health was beginning to be in jeopardy.

I felt guilty, for the longest time! I felt like I wasn’t giving my all. I felt like I was letting people down.

I stopped caring what so many of those people thought, because if they truly cared about me and my family and passions, they would totally understand.

Guess what? The ones who truly cared, never faulted me. The ones who had something negative to say about it, their opinions don’t matter.

I’m not saying you have to say no to everything that makes you unhappy!

Only say yes to things that bring you joy, to things that are necessary (even if they are hard), to things that create lasting memories.
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Saying No blessed me

Was it scary saying no to things like extra money? HECK YES.

Was it scary after I had Mono this fall dropping down to only one day a week for the time being at work? ABSO-DANG-LUTELY! 

Has God met every need, and then some? More than you will ever know. 

The minute I stepped down to one day a week, unless I could swing more, the blessings just poured in. If you are in my life on a personal level, you have seen God move in my house, in my personal life (health and happiness), with my babies, with my business. 

God always shows up and shows out! And I couldn't be more grateful for His blessings!

TIPS:

• ask yourself, how important this is to you and your family? If you say no will it keep you from paying bills or putting food on the table?
• ask yourself is this something that truly makes me happy? If at the end of the day, it doesn't bring you joy, or will cause you massive heart ache later, say NO. 
• ask yourself will this grow you in any way? if the answer is that you could most certainly grow from it, consider saying yes.
• ask yourself will it keep you from making a lasting memory? will it make a lasting memory? super important in our household!
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HAve you ever experienced this? I'd love to hear your story!